Adjusting

The Bee Gees song "How D0 You Mend a Broken Heart" keeps playing in my head.

How does a person "adjust" to life when the focus of life for the last 30 years is gone?

I am struggling to find a new identify, purpose, passion since Max's death. He can never be replaced. I will merely treasure the time we had together and see if I can move on in search for something that can give me even a small percentage of the happiness I felt with him. I felt totally content with Max... even in the last several months when he was bedridden.

As I move on, I am trying to keep busy at home and doing some traveling to occupy my mind and pursue my interest in photography. I'd like to figure out how to make a little extra money with my pictures.

I spent a long Thanksgiving
week-end at Lincoln City, Oregon with my cousin Shirley and her friend Richard. The weather was surprisingly good, considering the forecast.

I spent a week on Maui, Hawaii with a friend in late October, thanks to the purchase of a condo at a charity auction. We did tours via land, sea and air.

I know grieving is a very individual and personal journey. I acknowledge how truly blessed my life still is and yet I can't shake the depression and loneliness, in spite of a good support group of family and friends.

I joined a widow grief group in Wenatchee, but I will be heading to Arizona to spend Christmas with Max's sister and brother-in-law. Not sure how long I'll be gone, so I'll miss a lot of our weekly meetings so I'm not sure if I will try to locate a group in Arizona or just take up when I return.

Stay tuned...
Carol